Noise

I need to quiet the noise.
I'm not talking about the physical noise in my home (though it does rise to epic levels with 4 little ones running around.)
No, I'm talking about the constant noisy buzz that comes with our culture.

Some people can find a balance between (social) media and "real life".
I can't.
For me, they are intermingled.
I find worth in the comments and likes.
I find acceptance.
And value.
(sigh)

Some days I get lost in catching up on everyone else's everyday that I tend to neglect my own.
And let's be honest... sometimes I can't stop myself from checking in with these sites all day long.

There are so many positives to staying plugged in.
I love the realness.
And the encouragement.
I love the relationships built.
And hope that can be shared.

But mixed in with all of that is SO.MUCH.NOISE.

Yesterday I deleted facebook off my phone.
I hit unsubscribe to many companies through email.

And I made a big decision regarding my business. 

There is a shift going on.

A soft whisper on my heart, calling me to simplify.
Redirect.
Refocus.
Slow down.

It's time to start over.
With a new beginning.

Have you ever felt like that?
That life seems to have just taken over and you are powerless to stop the "treadmill" you are on?

Friends, I'm hopping off.

My hope is to be present.
For my family.
And for the One who's whispers I can now hear after silencing some of the noise...

xoxo

Catching Up

I've missed this space.
This place where I can pour out my heart.

Where I can share silly stories.
Or fun recipes.
Or just simply document our family exactly as we are today.
In this moment.

But lately, life has felt a little like it's on fast forward.
Sometimes the days feel long and yet also feel like they are gone in the blink of an eye.
(know what I mean?)

And I just don't have time (or energy, or creativity) to come on here...
but I miss it.

I miss you.
Yes, YOU!!

I am still getting use to having four littles.
Four.
I still can't believe my little family is exactly as I dreamed it would be when I was a little girl.
I wish my mom was here so that I could talk to her about what it was like raising four.
I'd ask her if she ever yelled at us.
(my memories of her are all rainbows and sunshine. chocolate chip cookies and sneaking homemade popcorn in paper bags to the movies theater.)
I don't remember her yelling.
And yet, now as a mom of four who finds herself losing her cool, I wonder how she dealt with the stress.
I'd ask her how she had time of everything. The house, her kids, her marriage.
I'd ask her advice and soak in her wisdom.

I think part of my struggle is this online world we live in.
Because while I haven't written on this blog for some time, I still find myself spending too much time online. I'm not sure how to find the balance I need.

How to be the mom I want to be and still run a photography business.
Still connect with friendships, especially with those who live so far away.
Still have the time to come on here and share my heart.
Document our life.

So here's a start.
It's where I'm at right now.

No pictures.
No fun stories.
Just a way to come back on here and be real.
I hope to play a bit of catch up on the blog. (I have so many posts yet to be written...going all the way back to Christmas! Eek!)
So, please don't mind the randomness that is to come on here in the next little bit.
:)

I've miss you and can't wait to connect with you all again.
How have YOU been?!

Dear Me,

i saw this on pinterest. 

i adore it.

the end.

Missing You

 I just wanted to quickly come on here and tell YOU  that I miss you.
ALL of you.... my besties that live in my computer.

I have thought of you often.
I have missed you.
Our conversations.
Your stories.

I have also really missed writing.... but don't know if I can even form coherent sentences anymore...
I am so far behind that I feel too overwhelmed to even start.
Have you ever been here too?
I feel the desire to pull away and yet so desperately want to stay connected....

This season is tough.
I am really trying to find balance.
Obviously I haven't found it yet... ;)

But I had to come on here and tell you... everything is good. I'm just taking a little bit of time in an effort to find a way to "do it all" :)
Is it even possible????

Checkin' In

Wow. I have missed you guys. I have wanted to come on here many times and share updates throughout our busy summer but I just haven't. How's that for an excuse. Ha. To be completely honest friends I have just been a little overwhelmed with being a mama. I've tried to step away from the computer and it has been nice. Very nice. But I've missed ya'll. Somehow I need to find a balance of some kind....sigh.
Having four little ones at home this summer has proven to be a little busier than last year. I love it, but there are days when I just think..."oh my word could it get any crazier around here?!" ha!

I do plan to upload my pictures (at some point) and share what we've been up to but for now here is a crazy random post of just a few things swirling around in my brain...

:: Are you guys on Pinterest? It is beyond awesome. Basically it's a way to bookmark your favorite ideas. You can organize them all onto boards and see a little thumbnail image of whatever it is for a quick reference.

Then you can follow others to see what they are putting on their boards. I was super intimidated by it at first and had a hard time wrapping my mind around the whole idea, but now i am super addicted. When I first started I went through all my old bookmarks to add them to my boards. It was like Christmas finding all those old ideas and having the ability to organize them all visually. I love it so much and have already found so many new awesome ideas on it. If you're on it come find me. My user name is Sara Haynes.

:: This made me laugh so hard. Yaaaaaaa! I'm not the only one who thinks that! HA!

:: When I hear this song it makes me want to sign up for piano lessons...


:: Speaking of songs, I am so loving this one. I just makes me happy.


:: Last week I forced Elliot to be my real live doll. She wasn't really havin' it and refused to give me a big smile. But I still love this picture. Poor thing. It's a tough life having a photographer as a mama :)

Ok, that's all for now. Hope you are all having (or have had) a wonderful summer! We still have 3 weeks before school starts (yay!!!) so we're trying to savor every last minute!
:)

Goodbye inches!

Friends, I just had to come on here and brag a little.

Chris' company just developed an iPhone App that I kinda love.

It's called Body Tracker.

Basically it allows you to track your measurements (inches) and weight loss as you work towards your fitness goals.

And since (for once in my life) I am actually exercising on an ongoing basis I am super excited about using it!
It was just released last week- I measured when I got it and measured again yesterday and I lost inches in my hips & abdomen this week.) Yahoo.
It is so encouraging to see lost inches, even if the *stupid* scale isn't always going down!

Are you following any kind of exercise program?
Wanna track you weight loss & all those inches as they disappear!?

Then check out this app.
All the cool kids are doing it ;)
(It's already in the top 50 apps for the health and fitness category!)
Oh, and they just got a facebook page too.
'Cuz really, nothing is anything without a FB page :)
Check it out!

Do I sound like an infomercial yet?
:)

Is it inappropriate...

 ...if i think this "welcome mat" is hilarious?

                                                                                           Source: google.com via Elena on Pinterest

Happy Wednesday Friends!

iFINALLYGOTONE

my girls are sleeping.

my boys are watching (it's the stanley cup playoffs- game 7)

it's raining.

and......

what am i doing??

PLAYING WITH MY NEW iPHONE!!!
double squeal!!!

can you tell i'm excited?
i have been wanting a fancy iPhone for awhile now.
and i finally had an excuse to get one!

i am part of $20 club.
it's a wonderful group of wonderful ladies.
we get together every month for a night out and we each put $20 into the pot. every month one of us "wins" that money and gets to spend it on something we wouldn't normally buy for ourselves. it's so awesome because once a month i get to get out of the house with these amazing women and have a great night out. and once a year i win the pot! well, last month- you guessed it- i WON! and i knew right away what i wanted to spend it on!

hello lovely-

so, as i'm playing around with this little beauty i had to come on here and ask you all:
do you have an iPhone?
what are your absolute can't live without apps?

pretty please- share your secrets!

oh, and as a side note, having an iPhone has most definitely improved my texting ability.

my sister is so very proud of me :)

Me and You and You and Me

I started this blog for me.

It was a creative outlet. A place where I could write and then look back and remember these crazy days of raising a small family.

It has grown into so much more than that.

It's been a place that has grown my faith and where I can just pour out my heart. I love looking back at old posts and seeing how much I've changed, how my little family has grown.

But another part of why I write now is you guys. You, my dear friends, have been such an unexpected gift. The encouragement, inspiration, challenge, RELATIONSHIP I've found in you has completely changed my life. I had no idea when I started this blog that I could find the friendships I have. God has surprised and blessed me with all of you.

It truly encourages me to know that anyone actually reads what I write. I am so humbled by all of you. I love that even though we may live worlds apart {geographically}, we can find ourselves relating to one another. Encouraging one another. I love that!

I am close to hitting my 500th post. Wow. How on earth did that happen? Who knew I had so much to say?

So, I've been thinking of a way to make that post special and have decided to do a vlog (video blog) Ahh! This scares me a little. I am not one who likes being in front of the camera. I much prefer to hide behind it!

But, I've decided that I'm going to take y'all on a tour of my little world...where you'll get to see me and my little people {almost} in real life :)
I'll show you mi casa and try to keep it as real as possible {you know dishes on the counter and laundry on the floor and toys strewn about all over.} Sound fun?

Ok, so here's where you come in. Since you are such a big part of why I write I want to include you!
If you had just one {ok, you can ask more than one if you want!} question you'd like me to answer what would it be? It can be anything from parenting these four littles, to faith, to cooking/baking, to photography, to blogging...and anything in between) I'll try my best answering them on the video and maybe I'll even try to give shout outs to all you question askers ;)

It'll almost be like we're sitting face to face talking! Oh how I wish that were possible!

Alright.
Here we go.
Fire away.
What do you want to know about little ol' me?
;)

Diaper Bag Dreams

I have spent the last 2 days hanging out in our basement. Cleaning, re-organizing & purging. I've been holding onto ALL the kids clothes and decided it's time we passed on of all our boy clothes. We have 8, count 'em EIGHT big garbage bags full of boys clothes to give away.
See, I've kept everything just in case we needed to use it again... but since our little lady won't be needing her big brother's sleepers I can finally release them from our basement:)

Though I've kept practically everything baby related to re-use: clothes, furniture, toys, the one thing I've replaced each time we welcomed a new babe has been the diaper bag.

Chris shakes his head at the diaper bag mystery. Why oh why, he asks, do I need a new one each time? But the fact of the matter remains that I have purchased a new one for each of the kids. What can I say? Our diaper bags have certainly been well loved :)

So, when CSN stores contacted me offering the chance to pick something from their over 200 online stores I got excited. They sell everything from modern furniture, to baby gear, to cookware and everything in between.

And I found this amazing diaper bag on their allmodern site.
Eeeee! This makes my mama heart so excited ;)

CSN has generously offered to not only spoil me but also has promised to spoil one of YOU my dear readers! In a few weeks I'll be hosting a giveaway for one of you to win a gift certificate to pick out something that you'll love too.

Yippee! I can't wait!
Thanks CSN!

Balance

I've got this theory that if the phone was invented after texting, people would be all like
"Wow! You can actually HEAR the person!"

When I heard that on a t.v show a while back I burst out laughing. When it's put like that I just think it's hilarious :-)
It's true though, isn't it?

I've determined that I'm a granny at heart. I have always been a step behind in the technology department. I've admitted before that I don't text very often. It just takes me forever to send a message. I'd rather just pick up the phone and call ya.
Well, to be totally honest, part of it is because it takes way to much effort to text someone (translation- I'm way too lazy) but I also think it's because my soul longs to connect. Really connect.

Lately God has really been speaking to me about boundaries, priorities and relationships in my life. And what it really boils down to is BALANCE. I need to find balance in my life. Balance between "God-time," "me-time," "hubby-time," "mama-time,""friend-time". How do we fit it all in?

Somehow over time I allowed myself to become way off balance.
I've spent more time on the computer checking facebook and other blogs than I really should.
And in the process have cocooned myself from pouring into my real face to face relationships.

Recently I heard someone say " If the grass is greener on the other side maybe you need to water your grass."

When I look at other women and their close friendships I am tempted to whine about my grass. In reality, my relationship grass is simply in great need of some watering. In fact it may need some fertilizer too. Actually come to think of it, I probably need to completely re-sod my grass :-)

I find that I've been hiding behind things like facebook and email and allowing them to take place of what is truly the best way to connect- face to face.

And so I am trying to take a few baby steps away from the computer.
I have decided to take a big step away from facebook.
Now, don't get me wrong. I think that facebook is great. I love the way it connects us. I love that I am able to stay in contact with people who don't live close to me (which is the main reason why I am keeping my account!) I also love encouraging others and being encouraged.
But I'm finding myself checking it way more than I need to and getting easily sidetracked.
I am realizing more and more that I am missing out on what is right in front of me (mainly my family) while I sit in front of the computer.
So, for me, this is a step.

I will continue to blog.
I love it too much to step away completely. I need to write for me, for my relationship with God, for my kids and also to connect with all of you. Man, do I love you guys! :-)
But, as you may have noticed, I have been in a bit of a blogging rut. Part of it is just the fact that I was feeling so sick in my first trimester, but I also think that God in his mercy has been teaching me about balance.
For a season, you may not see as much of me as before but I promise I am around and miss you guys :D

What about you? Do you struggle with this too?
How do you find balance?

Tuesday Randomness

• yesterday Chris' parents surprised us and took all three kids for the day. The ENTIRE day! So, we went out for lunch. Alone. Without children. Alone, people! We were actually able to have an entire conversation without interruptions. It was glorious.
• I have done approximately 12 loads of laundry in the attempts to get ready for our vacation next week. I have approximately 12 more to go (at least it feels like it)
• my "get ready for our vacation list" is written and I'm a little afraid of it. It's two pages long.
• last week we had a great time learning all about dinosaurs- post coming soon...maybe.
  
• we have really been enjoying our summer homeschooling but as I'm looking at my crazy 2 page long list I think we might take a week off :)
• my sister is getting married and I got to take some engagement shots for them! there were about 10,000 mosquitoes and now she looks like she has the chicken pox but we had fun anyway! Click here to see a few more shots from our session.

• it's official. my blogging mojo is definitely MIA. I have tried to write, really, but my brain is just stuck in lazy summer mode :)
• ok, I really need to stop procrastinating now and tackle that scary list....
  

Makeover

Hey Y'all!

As you can see my little blog has had a makeover.
Yippee!
My little brother is awesome and slaved away for me
putting up with all my requests and crazy perfectionism.
Thanks so much Matt!
:D

I'm so excited to be able to post larger pictures...speaking of pictures, I simply can't have a post without one, so here's one just for fun.

I'm also excited to have a fancy new link bar...
although, right now none of the buttons have anything in them. Ha!
Please be patient with me as I try to get them up and running.
(it'll probably take me a few days!)

Ok, I'm off.
Hope you are all having a fabulous weekend!

A package of awesome

Ok.

I'm done being mean now.
I won't make you wait any longer in suspense.
So what exactly did I pull out of this happy little package?

COOKIES!
mmmmmmm!


And not just any old cookies.
No.
Don't be fooled.
These are Kristen's famous chocolate chip cookies!
and they are de-li-cious!
(you were totally right Denise!)

These cookies completely made my day.
They are soooooo yummy.
And made me feel oh so special!
:)
I wish I had taken a video of myself opening it up.
I was giddy.
Felt like a little girl on Christmas morning.
And my girls even sat nicely for about five minutes while we ate them.
Five minutes of sitting still is a crazy wonderful gift in and of itself.

(yes, my three year old is wearing pajamas in the middle of the day. that's how we roll.)

So thank you, thank you, THANK YOU Kristen!
You are seriously the best!
Ok, now I want everyone to go over to Kristen's blog "Idaho Mom"
and tell her how awesome she is!
Because she is pure AWESOME.

:)

Guess what I found......

......in my mailbox this morning?!

Go on.

Take a WiLd guess!
Whatever could be in this box??
I'll reveal the goodness this afternoon....
;)

Ramblings...

Peek-A-Boo!

Yup, I'm still here....

I know my posts have been a bit more sporadic. Sadly, I don't really have an exciting reason why. I have just found that I am running out of things to talk about :)

We've had a pretty low key week.... although we did get to see the Easter Bunny at the mall, where the girls decorated Easter cookies and had fun playing with my cousins two little ones. (my big girl was very excited to discover that the Easter Bunny is indeed PINK and enjoyed informing her older brother of that fact!)

I have been driving Chris crazy singing the last part of this song over, and over, and over....

"do do do do do do do dodo dodo...."

He gets super annoyed every time I come close to him and start singing it. But I can't help it if I can't get it out of my head! Right?! Plus, I kinda like bugging him.

We started spring cleaning the house (very excited stuff), we took a few long walks, went to our library (where I discovered I have $19 in overdue fees- eek!), and we spent one morning wandering around Fish Creek Park so that I could (once again) play with my camera.


Only problem was the battery on my camera died about 5 minutes after we got there....boo! (note to self- check the battery before you decide to take the kids on a little photo shoot)
We ended up staying awhile, walking around, enjoying the fresh air, listening to all the birds and especially saying "Hi!" to all the people we saw.
:)

I'm realizing that the more I take pictures the more I'm loving it. It is probably my favorite thing to do. I am excited to keep practicing, learn my camera better, and figure out exactly how to work with lighting.....

Well friends, that's about all I've got.
I told you I've run out of stuff to talk about. Don't worry, though, I'm sure it won't last long...I'll be back soon to ramble on like usual :)

Have a great weekend everyone!

Look alike??

The other day while watching T.V, an advertisement came on for this movie:

Awww, cute little Drew Barrymore from when she filmed E.T

My son excitedly said "Hey that little girl looks like 'A'!"

I smiled and had to agree with him.
But by the time we called our little monkey over, to show her, the picture on the screen had flashed to something else....

So what do you think???


Any resemblance??
:)

A year ago...

A year ago today, I came out of the blog closet.

Up until that day I kept my writing to myself. It was just for me. I loved writing. I loved having a place that I could record the little things that would happen, ones that if I didn't write down I'd totally forget.

Like this moment. Oh man, I love that kid!

I wanted a place where I could write down my thoughts. Where I could explore my relationship with God. A place where I could be myself.
And I was totally afraid to share it. It felt too vulnerable. Too scary.
I was also completely convinced that no one would want to read what this silly little stay at home mom had to say.

BUT, after much encouragement from Chris, I took a big breath, hit publish and jumped into the land of blogging. I "sucked it up", took a risk and put myself out there.
And I'm so happy I did.
Since then I have met some amazing people. I have been so deeply encouraged. Challenged. Inspired. I have been truly blessed.

Thank you for taking this journey with me.

What I have discovered through this last year is that I love to write.

Writing is my process.
It helps me sort out what is going on in my head.
It helps me share what's on my heart.
It helps me grow... as a wife... as a mom.... as a person.

Even if no one read what I wrote, I'd still write.
It's become like air to me.

Over this last year I've allowed parts of my heart to be exposed. I've opened small windows into where I'm at.
And you know what? I am better for it.
It's been a process of healing for me. Healing from the lies I've believed.
Especially the lie of "you are not important. you are nobody."
I am learning that, yes, not everyone is going to like me. Not everyone is going to be interested in what I have to say. But sometimes when I write, it encourages someone. Or makes them feel like they are not alone. Those moments are like all the riches in the word to me. I love them. I love connecting like that.

And I am growing as I write.
This blog is a place that I can tangibly see that. I can go back and read, and really and truly see that I am growing. That I am learning. That HE is moving me.

And so, I will continue to write.
I will continue to share my heart.
And I hope that somewhere along the way you are encouraged, that you are challenged. I hope that in some small way you will feel like you are not alone.

(this picture doesn't really have anything to do with what I wrote, but I love her!)

Banana bread, mailboxes and cuteness

I have banana bread issues.
Really.
I can not for the life of me
bake banana bread to perfection.

I've tried lots of different recipes.
It's not my oven,
I've tried making it in 3 different ovens
:D
I've tried lowering the oven temp.
I've tried raising it.
I've baked it for longer than the recipe calls for.
I've baked it shorter.

EACH
and EVERY
time
they turn out golden brown on the outside
(sometimes even burnt!)
and undercooked on the inside.
Even though the toothpick comes out clean.

Seriously.
What is my problem?
Banana muffins I can do.
Banana bread- not a chance.
And like a crazy person I keep trying... expecting different results.
I WILL NOT give up on you banana bread.
One day....

On a happier note, see this ugly mailbox:

It's getting a facelift this weekend!

Oh, and I just had to include this cutie.
She just makes me smile.


Happy weekend everyone!

Introducing.....CHRISTINA!

I want to introduce you all to my very good friend Christina. I've written before about her, and how we enjoyed taking a super awesome cake class together.
Well, she's finally taken the plunge (after much begging and pleading from yours truly) and started her own blog! I am soooooo excited!

She is a wonderful mommy, amazing wifey, extraordinary cook and I am completely convinced that you will love her too. She promises to share many yummy recipes and many crazy adventures with her three little munchkins.

Ok, now go check out her blog The Spicy Morsel and welcome her to the wonderful world of blogging!