Just because...

It was a typical day.

The morning flew by with math lessons, reading practice, writing prompts and morning chores. A few groans were heard here and there and even more giggles as books were opened, worked on and then put away once again.

We had just finished lunch and the girls and I were stepping out to meet some friends at the library when I found it.
A surprise gift on our doorstep.

We brought it inside. Opened it, and found this:

Just because....

just because you are worth it.

just because you are loved.

just because you are special.

just because you are you.

I let the words wash over me. And then I cried. Haha. You need to know something- my husband calls me the "ice queen" because I don't cry in movies (like a certain someone. Ahem) but this card, well, it made me tear up.

Why is it so easy to believe these words about someone else, but hard to believe them about myself?

If you know me, you know I'm a words person. I devour books. Fiction. Non Fiction. Biographies. Studies. I love getting lost in imaginary worlds as well as finding myself lost in the wisdom and advice of others. 

So when I opened this gift and saw books *squeal* I knew that not only did this person bless me with this unexpected gift. Not only did their beautiful words encourage me. But this gift of books was also from someone who truly "gets" me.

The card, as you can see, wasn't signed. 

This became it's own treasure hunt. The girls quickly got to work guessing who could have left it. They excitedly began naming people. Just then Evan casually walked by, took one look at it and said "I know who it's from." He guessed and I agreed. It had to be from her.

I debated back and forth as to whether or not I should thank her. On the one hand I thought maybe she'd wanted to remain anonymous and wouldn't want any credit. After all, she didn't leave her name on the card for a reason. 

But on the other hand my heart leaped with excitement. I just had to tell her. I had to tell her that her love was recognizable. That the intentional, authentic way she lived and loved was so obvious that even my 11 year old son knew right away that it was her.

What joy! To know a friend who loves in this way!

In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take that responsibility seriously. And if you have the gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.

Romans 12:6-8 (NLT)

This friend of mine was given the gift of encouraging others. And she does. She radically encourages. She can see beauty in others and calls it out. She knows how to speak life. She is authentic and just so very lovely with her words.

Which got me to thinking.... what do others recognize about the way I live. The way I love? 

How can I use my gifts to bring Him glory? 

It's so easy to get distracted by the busyness of life. To allow ourselves to get so bombarded that we don't even have the time to use the gifts we are given. Life, indeed, can get messy.

But can I challenge you? And at the same time- myself? 

Let's take a few moments- right now, to recognize how we are gifted. 

Ask Him. He'll show you.

In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take that responsibility seriously. And if you have the gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.

Romans 12:6-8 (NLT)

So, what is your gift?

*Is it to prophesy? Could you share your heart?

*Is it to serve? Could you make a meal for a friend? Volunteer to watch her kids? Fold your laundry with a smiling heart?

*Is it giving? Could you give what you have to someone who may be too afraid to ask for help? Your time? Money? Talents?

*Is it teaching? Could you share you wisdom with love- doesn't matter if you are "officially" a teacher or not. If God has gifted you in this way- teach what you know!

*Is it kindness? Could you offer that willingly to a stranger? A friend? A grumpy soul needing some extra love?

*Is it leadership? Could you recognize where you need to lead? And step out.

These are just a few ideas. There are so many unique and creative ways to use your gifts :)

And now, this week, let's allow some room in our hearts and our days to use our gifts..... just because.

xo

Slow to speak

I saw a post today on a friends facebook page.
She was upset about something someone else did and shared her thoughts on her page. Soon after there were many comments backing her up. Cheering alongside her. Like an angry mob, they joined in her cause.

But here's the thing. I didn't agree with her.

I even started to write out a comment, simply pointing out that there was a different side to the coin.... but then I took a second, thought about it, and deleted it. What did I hope to accomplish? Would I start an ugly debate, and fuel the already angry flames?

And then I got to thinking. Really. Why do we have to be so mean to each other? Why do we come down on other parents when we don't always know the whole picture? When we don't fully understand. Sometimes I think we are so wrapped up in our own emotions that we don't stop to think about how what we say can affect others. How it can hurt them.

The more I think about this, the more I can see past this particular incident and right into my very own heart, where I am mean. And judgmental. And critical. And harsh. Not always out in the open, but in my heart of hearts I can be ugly.

And yet, I feel a shifting. An awareness. A light bulb turning on. He's revealing the ugly in me. Not to feel bad about it, or like there is no hope for me, but rather to set me free from the bondage of fear. And insecurity. And unforgivness. And judgment. And anger. Because that's exactly what it is. A bondage. No one can be happy and angry at the same time. Full of joy and full of judgment at the same time. And which would we rather be.....?

This is my prayer today. For me. For you..... May we all be quick to listen. Slow to speak. Slow to become angry. (James 1:19)

Grace.
He's there to cover all.

xoxo

Real Friends

Before I started blogging I heard about friendships between people I knew in real life and friends they had met online.
To be honest, I thought it was weird. Like, really, really weird!!!

How can you connect with someone and develop a true friendship if you can't sit down with them and see them face to face? How can you really know someone if all you know about them is what you are reading off a computer screen?
I guess I thought that in order for a friendship to be real you had to actually meet in the traditional way.... ummm... like in person :)

But, now I know better.
Now I know that God can use anything (yup, even the internet) to bring friends into your life who will challenge, inspire and encourage you.

I know this because He has so overwhelmed me with all of YOU.
He has taught me to be real with you and blessed me with your realness.
He has taught me that we can truly connect, even if I live all the way up in Canada and you live in California, or Idaho, or Arizona, or Texas....
And now I am singing a completely different tune about friendships then before I started blogging.
Now, if I had my way I would build my own little cul-de-sac of houses and move you all in to be my neighbors :D

Yesterday I took a step outside the comfort of my blog/email friendship and skype met Denise from Victory Road. Eeeeeeeeeee! Isn't she just the sweetest?!

See, I would describe myself as more on the shy side. It takes me awhile to warm up. I get really nervous meeting new people and am not the best at keeping a conversation going. I'm just a little too awkward.
So, even though I felt like I truly knew (and loved!) Denise I was super nervous. Excited but nervous. Thrilled, but nervous. What if she discovered just how much of a dork I am in real life????

But she was so gracious, and genuine, and amazing.
I had absolutely no reason to be nervous at all.
(and she didn't let on at all if she thought I was a dork!)
Seriously. I want to be her when I grow up.
She's real.
And fun.
And silly.
And her heart is so, so beautiful.

She challenges me more and more to chase after what is real and simply how to be more and more like Jesus with skin on.

And one day, ONE DAY I will get to meet her face to face. And I'll give her a big hug. My kids will play with her kids, we'll all eat smore bars and I'll convert her into a casserole lovin' mama.
Until then I'll have to settle for skype.
And the teeny tiny hope that maybe one day we can move to California.

What about you?
Do you have blogging friends that you have met or want to meet?
And tell me, when will we meet?

Friendships

I smiled as I watched them.
They were giggling, chasing one another. Round and round they went ponytails bouncing, girly squeals filling the air.
Soon both their little legs grew tired and they sat in the sand filling up their buckets and digging for treasures. I could hear them chatting happily together as they played.

They had the park all to themselves. They could run freely and leave their sand toys scattered around as they pleased.

After a few minutes, a new little friend wandered over. She sat down beside them and immediately picked up a spare shovel and started digging for treasures too.
And my girls didn't blink.
They shared their toys and included their new friend in their conversation. They talked about building a princess castle. Chatted about Dora and then about my daughters new pink shoes. They quickly formed a new friendship and loved this little girl like they knew her.

I tried to picture this same exchange happening to a couple of adults. Let's say you and a friend were sitting together having coffee and a "new friend" (someone you had never met) came over, pulled up a chair and joined in the conversation. Let's say you had some "toys" like maybe your laptop or knitting needles with you and your new friend casually picked them up and started playing with them too. I am pretty sure strange looks would be exchanged. Nervous laughter perhaps. Maybe a question like "um.... can we help you?"

Why are children so carefree? So wiling to accept someone new? So loving?
Why is it so easy for my children to form friendships and so painfully hard for me?

Truth be told, I have trouble making friends. It doesn't come easily for me. I have been hurt. And I am sure have done some hurting. I have been rejected. And I am sure have done some rejecting.
I don't have a lot of close friends. I have lots of women that I know but not a lot who I would show every side of me. I am afraid to show the ugly in me. To have someone love me in spite of it. To walk with me. Talk me through the rain filled seasons. Be there. Know me. Love me- for me.

It's my own fault. I don't know how to open myself up to friendships anymore. I don't know how to love like my girls do.
To immediately welcome someone into my life and share my toys with them.
To be real.
I need to learn how to open my heart like my girls.

I know how to be real in writing. I know how to articulate how I feel in words. But, sometimes I think I hide behind that.
Sometimes I think it's so much easier to lay it all out on this blog and be vulnerable to you guys than to open myself up in a face to face relationship. Which is probably why I feel like you guys know me better then a lot of friends (who don't read my blog) do. In all honesty I am super shy and afraid of what people who DO know me and read my blog think of what I write. I am always surprised and humbled when they mention they enjoyed something I wrote.

As we were walking home from the park that day my three year old chirped "My new friend is so nice. She's a girl, Mommy! I like her!"
So simple.
So genuine.
Unguarded.
Unafraid.
Love.
She's not worried about what her new friend thinks of her. She's not judging how she looks or even how she acts. She just welcomes her openly and shares her shovel. And for about an hour they play happily together and wave to one another when it's time to go.

I am learning how to love from my girls.
How to accept others. How to be genuine. How to let my guard down and not be afraid to let friends in.
How to truly build friendships.

What about you? Do you make friends easily? Or do you tend to guard your heart too?