The Look

Our second annual Cookie Countdown has come and gone
and I still can't believe we made it!
Wow.

To be completely honest I found it a little more difficult to get motivated this year.
Maybe because of my pregnancy {and the fun exhaustion that comes with it}
or the fact that our baking kept disappearing {which in part could fall under the pregnancy excuse, but also our three year old was really good at sneaking treats from the freezer} but I just found it hard to get into the kitchen most days.

But, there was one thing that no matter how tired, lazy, or grumpy I felt that kept me going and that was:
The look.
It was the look on that one man's face last year.
It was a look I still can't describe but a year later is carved so deeply into my mind and heart, that it's what got my butt in motion when all I wanted to do most days was take a nap.
I wanted to see that look again.
I wanted to see Jesus.

And I wanted my kids to see it too.

We spent a lot of time talking about giving our baking to the homeless men and women downtown. Each time we pulled out a recipe we talked about what we did last year and how we were planning on doing it again. About how for some of these new friends, it may be their only Christmas present.

I found that the kids were way more into it this year. Maybe because they are a bit older and could understand better or because they remember doing it last year, but whatever the case they talked about it a lot this month.
Especially our oldest daughter. She was very concerned about the people who don't have gardens {in her little 3 year old mind if you don't have a home, you don't have a garden. Logical, no?} She asked a lot of questions and I tried my best to answer them in a way that she could understand.

"Mommy, the people who don't have gardens are going to like our cookies!"
she told me one day while we were baking.
My heart nearly stopped right then and there at her preciousness.
{This must be how God feels when we come and share our excitement with Him.}

We planned to deliver our baking on the 23rd this year. So the kids and I packed up all our plates of baking the day before. This was a really fun part for them, seeing a whole months worth of cookies laid out on the counter...... and also really fun to get to sample a few of the extras afterwards!
;)
The next day, while we drove downtown I could feel myself getting nervous.
Really nervous.
I remember feeling the same way last year.
But as we got closer our son started explaining to his sisters that they needed to look out their windows and help find people to give our baking to, well, my nerves went right out the window.
My mama heart just grew excited by hearing his excitement.

We began handing out our baking and received lots of shocked smiles.
Lots of happy Merry Christmas'
Lots of humble thank yous
And just like last year,
there was
a
moment.

A moment that stopped my heart
and will forever be written in memory.

This time it was a lady.
A dear sweet lady.
Who's face gave away all her sweetness
and held the smile of the century.
Who received her plate of goodies with a surprised laugh,
and questioned if they were really for her.
Who called her friend over to show him and promised she'd share.
{when our 7 year old heard this he ran back to the van to fetch another plate for her friend}
And then her friend's face changed too.
His face was pure JOY.
He patted our son's head and said a loud Merry Christmas
while waving to the girls in the van {who happily shouted it back!}

When we were all back in the van our son's face was shinning.
He was grinning from ear to ear.
Oh how humbled I felt.
Could my heart take anymore?

We drove around and passed out a few more treats when we found ourselves doing a loop down the same street we had just been on. I didn't really notice.... but then I heard a squeal from the backseat....

"Hey! They're eating our baking already mommy! Look! Look, that lady and her friend are eating out baking!!! Mommy, did you see that?!"

Oh, how that did me in.
Has your heart ever hurt from too much J.O.Y?
Mine did.
In that moment.
It did.

Once we handed out the last of our baking we prayed for all the sweet people we met.
My two year old said it best "Thank you for the people. Thank you for the baking."

Yes Jesus.
Thank you for the people.
And thank you for the baking.
It changed me in a way that I could never describe.
And taught my kids something that I could never teach them with words.
It taught us all to love a little better.