Friday, March 19, 2010

Beauty in Brokenness


This week Chris asked me to pull out all the papers that we needed for our taxes.
As I began this "fun adventure" I decided that I might as well go through ALL our files and re-organize them. (I blame the spring cleaning fever I seem to have caught!)

So, I sprawled out the entire contents of our filing cabinet onto the dinning room table and began making piles.
Papers to toss.
Papers to shred.
Papers to keep.
I made new folders and re-organized the old ones.

In the midst of all the papers I found a copy of an old email that I had received from my pastor a few years ago. Words that touched me back then.... and were like a gentle whisper to me again....

Malachi 3:3 says "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver"

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and
get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith,
he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up.
He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.


The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire.
If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith,
"How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"
He smiled at her and answered,
"Oh, that's easy - when I see my image in it."


I'm learning that there is beauty in brokenness.
I haven't always seen it.
Pain-yes.
Sorrow- yes.
Frustration-yes.
Loneliness- yes.
Beauty-no way!

But there IS a beauty that can only be found in brokenness. A beauty that has the chance to be seen... if only we'll let it.

Seeing beauty is a choice.

We can choose to believe the lies (I'm ugly, I'm not worth it, nobody loves me, life is always going to be this hard, I'm all alone, I will always feel broken...) or we can choose to see beauty.

We can see a beauty in the midst of the fire we are in. A beauty that is Him. The one who sits holding us. Refining us, until He sees His image in us.

He is the beauty.

Now, I realize that I'm simplifying things- A LOT. But it's true. It is simple. He is the beauty in every situation. He is the beauty that will get us through. There are times in my life when He is the only beauty around. Times like losing my mom, surviving two miscarriages, closing the doors of our church. He is my strength in times like these. While I am broken, He is the beauty.

The fact that I sometimes don't realize that He's there doesn't change the fact that He is. When I have my eyes trained on my circumstances, or how I feel about them I can't see the beauty. But as soon as I shift my gaze to the One who holds me, beauty is all I can see.

As my layers of self are slowly being burnt away, I see Him. I see beauty.

Maybe you're in a place where you feel like you're in the fire. Maybe you feel like you are walking through something all alone. Maybe you feel like no one understands you.....maybe your heart is broken.

God loves the broken hearted.

"Is anyone crying for help? God is listening, ready to rescue you. If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there; if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath. " Psalm 34:17-18 (The Message)

I think maybe the reason He loves the broken so much is because those are the times that we cling to Him.
He longs to be close to us, and so today, rather than focus on the fire, I am focusing on the silversmith. The one who holds me.
I am broken. I am fighting off the lies that surround me. And I cling to Him.

I cling to Beauty.

16 comments:

  1. Amazing Sara! I have been reading "So Long Insecurity" and it has really moved me and made me think about beauty in a whole new light. I'd love it if we were in Bible study together :)

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  2. Beautiful, Sara. I love hearing you share your heart. Thank you for doing so.

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  3. beautiful. wonderful sara.

    i wish you would have sen how my face lit up when i read the line, "He smiled at her and answered,
    "Oh, that's easy - when I see my image in it."

    this post offers relief. it isn't by my doing, but by His making. and He holds me.

    now go to sarah markley's blog and make sure she links this post! i don't want others to miss it.

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  4. i love this sara. thank you so much for emailing me to let me know i left you off. soo unintentional!

    anyway, beautiful words. thank you.

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  5. i was just reading that verse in Malachi this morning.

    this is beautiful!

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  6. So, so true... Beauty is in God....

    I have written about seeing beauty in the stillness. He speaks to me of the beauty found in the mist of circumstances that are not what we thought.
    Our church also closed it's doors this year...

    I LOVED what you wrote. A great word for today.

    I found you from Sarah's blog.

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  7. Soooo completely with you. There IS beauty in the broken... it has been in my own brokeness that I've been able to see my beauty.
    I love how He does the work.

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  8. I'm in tears! This was so unbelievably beautiful! Thank you for sharing!

    Hugs,
    Traci

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  9. OH! My heart has found a sister! Thank you for visiting my blog and for commenting! This is beautiful Sara! I am saving it, so that I can go back to read it again and again. What a powerful image!

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  10. I just realized I am logged in with my personal blog...you commented over at www.stringsattachedministries.com/the-blog...

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  11. The story about the silversmith took my breath away! I will always remember that image when I think of refining! Such a "beautiuful" post!

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  12. "... when I see my image in it."

    Oh my goodness... that was like a light bulb moment! How beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing this story as your beauty post! I loved it!

    Working my way through all the beauty posts on Sarah's blog. :)

    ~Jennifer

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  13. Beautiful post. The silversmith story made me teary-eyed. Your words were lovely too. :)

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  14. "... when I see my image in it."

    Oh my goodness... that was like a light bulb moment! How beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing this story as your beauty post! I loved it!

    Working my way through all the beauty posts on Sarah's blog. :)

    ~Jennifer

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  15. So, so true... Beauty is in God....

    I have written about seeing beauty in the stillness. He speaks to me of the beauty found in the mist of circumstances that are not what we thought.
    Our church also closed it's doors this year...

    I LOVED what you wrote. A great word for today.

    I found you from Sarah's blog.

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  16. Beautiful, Sara. I love hearing you share your heart. Thank you for doing so.

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Thanks so much for leaving your comments. I absolutely love hearing from you :)

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