Where do I even begin.... I just spent the last 40 minutes crying (no, scratch that-sobbing) my way through chapter nine of the book "So Long Insecurity". This chapter is written as a prayer, a prayer giving up insecurity and actually receiving our security and dignity back.
And I am exhausted. My heart is so overwhelmed by Him right now I can barely form a coherent sentence..... but I am also very excited, boy, am I ever excited!! YA!
To describe what I am feeling right now is impossible. To describe the time I just spent with my Healer is impossible. I just can't find the right words.
As I read through the prayer out loud, many times I had to stop and truly feel it. I had to engage. I saw myself in practically every word. It was as if Beth Moore had written it specifically for me. (hence the sobbing, and the fact that a whole box of Kleenex was necessary!)
I want to write out the entire prayer for you, but also really want you to go out and get a copy of the book for yourself and have you share in this same wonderful freedom with me!
Here are just a few parts of the prayer that were so very real to me:
"Please forgive me from self-pity and a life of excuses and rationalizations"
"Father help me to see where I am overly sensitive and where I put too much pressure in relationship"
"Help me to learn how to hang on tight to You when my life is rocked by dramatic change. Empower me to trust You and not panic or fight for control"
"Forgive me for being so fixated on what I don't have that I leave the gifts You've given me underdeveloped and much less effective than you intended"
"Forgive me for being such a perfectionist that I resist doing something good out of fear that it won't be great"
"Please restore all that insecurity has stolen from me"
"Preform a miracle on me, Lord"
"Transform what drives me"
"Give me the discernment to call a lie, a lie"
"I actively and deliberately receive...."
Like I said, I don't really have the words right now, but wanted so much to share with you.
Freedom from the ever-nagging insecurities that have plagued me for as long as I can remember... what will that look like?