Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Are we done?

I held my cousin's newborn baby today.

Ahhhh.... pure baby bliss.

He is absolutely precious in every way. From his teeny tiny fingers, to his sweet baby yawns, to the way his little legs curl up when you hold him.

He is perfect- 10 days old and just as cute as can be.

I felt that itch as soon as I laid my eyes on him. Yes, that's right people, my heart turned to mush and I began to long for another baby.

Our youngest turns a year in about a month and is quickly growing into a little girl, leaving the baby days behind her. I am sad. I love babies. LOVE them! I find it hard to imagine not having another. Chris is not necessarily on the same page as I am. Some days he's totally done having kids, and others he might be open to the idea....

There are so many factors to consider. Finances. Family dynamics. But I think the biggest factor that weighs heavily on both are minds is the risk of bedrest (each pregnancy has gotten tougher for me physically and I was on bedrest for 9 weeks with our last little munchkin- I don't know if I can do it again with three little ones. My doctor says it can go either way. Not much help in building up our confidence.)

Also I find that as our kids get older I am enjoying the thought of being done with the baby stage. No more nighttime feedings or sleepless nights. No more crazy physical changes for me. No more diapers (I mean- in a few years, but at least there would be an end in sight). No more baby stuff taking over the entire house....

I'm so torn. After holding my cousin's little man I am so on the "having one more" page. The problem is that I don't know that I'll ever grow out of that. I think I'll be 87 years old and still wanting more babies after holding a newborn.

And so I'm coming to you guys for your take on the whole "knowing when you are done" situation. Where are you at in the family scheme of things? Do you have kids? How many do you want? Are you done having kids? How did you know your family was complete? Does anyone else struggle with this?
I'd love to hear from you all :)


  1. We said when we started having kids that we wanted two or three. Then, after having two boys, we decided we would have one more. Of course, he was a boy. For a little while I wondered if I would regret not having a girl or not "trying" for a girl (whatever that means).

    When I approached my husband about it he said he felt like we were done. That we had never discussed having more than three and he felt like we were done. Period. Wow. I was stunned that he was able to say it so confidently.

    For me, I knew that as much as I love, love, love a baby, I don't want to be pregnant again, go through labor again, or breastfeed again for that matter. Every time I see a newborn I remember the sleepless nights and suddenly I'm cured of my baby longing :)

  2. sorry we're not much help in this department! but, i kind of have the feeling the baby itch doesn't ever go away if you're a girl!

  3. Most days I still don't feel like we should be done but I think Mr. B. already decided that one for me!

  4. my "full quiver" is 3!
    each pregnancy was miserable (although i say the harder the pregnancy the cuter the kids, i worked hard on them)!
    i had my tubes "tied" when my baby was 6 weeks old. i had a good cry that weekend, "i can't have any more babies."
    i had a hysterectomy (i was 33, agghh) when she was 5 yrs old, and had a good cry again "now i really can't have any more babies."

    i think a part of you will always want sweet fresh from heaven babies.

    ask God, He'll tell you.

  5. We have 3 little girls, and we believe that children are a blessing from God. We would love to have more children should God choose to so bless us. My husband and I are both on the same page with all of this. :-)

  6. Oy, that's a hard one! Every time I think I know, I don't! We have five, and I can't hardly believe it, but my kids and husband have just recently started talking about the possibility of a #6. That's a lot of kids! :)

  7. Oh, I hear you, friend. I got all teary reading everyone's responses. Every time I hold a baby, especially a newborn, I'm mush.

    I agree with Denise. Ask God, He'll tell you!

  8. Oy, that's a hard one! Every time I think I know, I don't! We have five, and I can't hardly believe it, but my kids and husband have just recently started talking about the possibility of a #6. That's a lot of kids! :)


Thanks so much for leaving your comments. I absolutely love hearing from you :)


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